Recovering Me: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

The Heart of The Soojz Project I started The Soojz Project because I noticed a recurring pattern in recovery: the deep, almost desperate need for silence. After years of noise, walking on eggshells, and managing someone else's volatile emotions, the most luxurious thing in the world isn't a vacation—it's an empty room. This project honors your need for sanctuary through three pillars: Sound: My album, Heavy Bamboo Rain , provides a 528Hz sonic landscape that fills the silence without demanding anything from you. It is "company" that doesn't require a reaction. Insight: Articles like this one on Recovering Me , where we validate your need to withdraw as a healthy evolutionary step. Action: My coloring affirmations book, Speak Love to Yourself , which gives you a meditative way to be "alone" with your thoughts while rewriting the internal script of self-worth.

The Heart of The Soojz Project I started The Soojz Project because I noticed a recurring pattern in recovery: the deep, almost desperate need for silence. After years of noise, walking on eggshells, and managing someone else's volatile emotions, the most luxurious thing in the world isn't a vacation—it's an empty room. This project honors your need for sanctuary through three pillars: Sound: My album, Heavy Bamboo Rain , provides a 528Hz sonic landscape that fills the silence without demanding anything from you. It is "company" that doesn't require a reaction. Insight: Articles like this one on Recovering Me , where we validate your need to withdraw as a healthy evolutionary step. Action: My coloring affirmations book, Speak Love to Yourself , which gives you a meditative way to be "alone" with your thoughts while rewriting the internal script of self-worth.

For the longest time, I believed that walking away was synonymous with "giving up." I was conditioned to think that if I just tried a little harder, explained myself a little better, or showed a little more patience, I could fix the unfixable. But there is a specific, suffocating weight that keeps us anchored to people who hurt us: Guilt. We stay because we feel guilty for "abandoning" them. We stay because we’ve been told that "loyalty" means enduring mistreatment. Today, I want to talk about why walking away without guilt is not an act of cruelty—it is a mandatory act of self-preservation. Recovering Me  is a  Soojz Project  dedicated to decoding the mechanics of narcissistic behavior to help you reclaim your narrative. We provide the clarity and  nervous system support  needed to move from survival to  self-sovereignty . Walking away isn't about hurting them; it's about refusing to let them hurt you anymore. 🕊️ The moment you drop the weight ...

If you are currently deep in the process of healing after narcissistic abuse , you might have encountered a terrifying sensation: the feeling that you are disappearing. You expected healing to feel like coming home. Instead, it feels like the lights have been turned off in a house you thought you knew. You don't know what music you like anymore. You don't know how to spend a Saturday without someone telling you what to do. You might even feel a strange grief for the "you" that existed within the chaos. This is the great paradox of recovery. We are told we are "finding ourselves," but the initial stages feel much more like an unraveling. Today, I want to explore why this happens and why this "loss" is actually the most hopeful sign of your progress. Recovering Me  is a  Soojz Project  dedicated to decoding the mechanics of narcissistic behavior to help you reclaim your narrative. We provide the clarity and  nervous system support  needed to move fro...

Have you ever realized, mid-conversation, that you’ve been holding your breath? For years, I lived in a state of "functional alarm." I thought I was safe because there was no screaming, no slamming doors, and no immediate crisis. But my body knew a different truth. My shoulders were perpetually hiked toward my ears, my eyes were constantly scanning for a shift in my partner's expression, and I felt as though I was always one "mistake" away from an emotional collapse. In the world of recovery, I eventually learned a hard truth: the absence of danger is not the same thing as the presence of safety . If you have spent your life walking on eggshells, your nervous system has forgotten what it feels like to simply exist without a defensive shield. Today, I want to talk about what genuine emotional safety actually feels like in the body—and the quiet, powerful markers that tell you that you’ve finally found it. True safety isn't just the absence of noise; it'...

 One of the most painful aspects of recovering from narcissistic abuse is the self-reproach. We look back and ask, "How did I not see it?" or "Why did I stay so long when things didn't add up?" This self-blame is often the final gift the manipulator leaves behind—a deep distrust of our own mind. But as I work through the Recovering Me project, I’ve come to a liberating realization: You weren't actually blind. Even in the height of the gaslighting , even when the confusion was thickest, there was a part of you that remained tethered to reality. Manipulation can cloud your mind, but it cannot change your north star. Even in the thickest confusion, your inner compass was always pointing toward the truth. Now is the time to start following it again. 1. The "Small Voice" vs. The Loud Narrative Gaslighting works by creating a "loud narrative" that contradicts your lived experience. The manipulator provides a persistent, aggressive version ...

  3 Powerful Reasons Setting Boundaries Trigger Fear When I first started my recovery journey, I thought that setting a boundary would be the end of the conflict. I believed that once I clearly stated my needs, I would feel an immediate sense of relief. Instead, I felt a wave of nausea. My heart raced, and I spent hours rehearsing a simple "no," only to feel like a "bad person" the moment I said it. If you’ve experienced this, you aren't failing at healing. You are experiencing the deep-seated psychological "alarm system" that triggers when we challenge old, toxic dynamics. Through the Recovering Me project, I’ve identified three powerful reasons why setting boundaries triggers such intense fear—and why that fear is actually a sign of progress. Setting boundaries often triggers an "extinction burst" from others—guilt trips, labels, and pushback. But the noise outside doesn't change the truth inside. Standing your ground is how you teach ...