The Fight-or-Flight Response: How Stress Affects the Body

When we think of the body's natural responses to stress, many of us are familiar with the term fight-or-flight response. It’s a physiological reaction that occurs when we feel threatened. This survival mechanism is designed to prepare us for either fighting off a predator or fleeing from danger. But when this stress response is repeatedly triggered—such as in the case of narcissistic abuse—the body's natural defenses begin to take a toll. Understanding the fight-or-flight response and how it affects the body is key to recognizing the chronic stress caused by emotional trauma.

1. Activation of the Fight-or-Flight Response

The body’s reaction to stress is complex, involving the activation of several systems designed to increase the body’s alertness and readiness to respond to threats. This response is primarily mediated by the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which is responsible for triggering the fight-or-flight reaction.

In the case of narcissistic abuse, the body is in a continuous state of heightened awareness, even when no physical threat is present. The SNS is activated in response to the psychological trauma caused by the narcissistic abuser. This ongoing activation of the body’s stress systems creates a physiological environment where every day feels like a battle. The physical effects are profound, affecting both the body and mind.

How the Body Responds to Narcissistic Abuse

When narcissistic abuse becomes a persistent part of life, the body undergoes several physiological changes. It’s not just emotional trauma; it’s also physical. The constant stress of abuse triggers the fight-or-flight response, leaving the body in a perpetual state of alert. Over time, this response can significantly impact one’s health, leading to exhaustion, chronic pain, and other physical ailments.

If you’d like to explore in more detail how the body reacts to narcissistic abuse, be sure to read How the Body Responds to Narcissistic Abuse for a more in-depth understanding of the connection between emotional trauma and physical stress.

Here’s what happens during the activation of the fight-or-flight response:

1. Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure: One of the first physiological reactions to stress is the increase in heart rate. This ensures that oxygen and nutrients are rapidly delivered to muscles and critical organs. While this is beneficial in short bursts of stress, such as running from danger, chronic stress can cause long-term cardiovascular strain, leading to issues such as high blood pressure, arrhythmias, and even heart disease.

2. Heightened Senses: Another aspect of the fight-or-flight response is the sharpening of the senses. This is meant to heighten awareness and allow the body to respond quickly to threats. However, in the case of narcissistic abuse, this heightened sense of awareness becomes hyper-vigilance, making it nearly impossible to relax. The victim is always scanning their environment for signs of potential abuse, manipulation, or criticism. This constant hyper-alertness can lead to anxiety, exhaustion, and mental burnout.

3. Quickened Breathing: Stress also causes a change in how we breathe. As the lungs increase their oxygen intake, people often experience shortness of breath. This rapid, shallow breathing can make it hard to feel calm, even in seemingly safe situations. For those experiencing emotional abuse, this type of breathing can become a daily reality, contributing to chronic stress and leading to feelings of suffocation, panic attacks, and dizziness.

4. Blood Flow Diverts: The body diverts blood from the digestive system to the muscles, enabling a fight-or-flight response. The gut-brain connection is often affected in this process, leading to digestive issues like nausea, bloating, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). This is particularly concerning for those experiencing prolonged emotional trauma, as digestion becomes less efficient, which can lead to further physical and emotional distress.

While these reactions are meant to serve an immediate need for survival, when they are constantly activated due to narcissistic abuse, the body is left in a perpetual state of stress. The constant pressure on the body’s systems leads to physical wear and tear, contributing to a range of health problems that may not be immediately apparent but become more pronounced over time.

2. Chronic Stress: The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse

I know this feeling all too well. When I was trapped in the cycle of narcissistic abuse, I found myself constantly living in a state of stress and fear. I remember feeling like I was always on edge, waiting for the next emotional attack or gaslighting tactic to be thrown my way. No matter how much I tried to shield myself or prepare for the worst, I couldn't escape the tension that had become a permanent fixture in my life.

At the time, I wasn’t able to recognize how much the ongoing emotional abuse was impacting my physical health. I thought that I could handle the emotional pain. But what I didn’t realize was that the stress of dealing with a narcissistic abuser was wreaking havoc on my body. The fight-or-flight response wasn’t just triggered by the occasional argument or confrontation—it was triggered constantly by the manipulative and toxic behaviors of my abuser.

As I went through this daily emotional battle, I could feel my body becoming more and more tense. Every day, I would wake up with a heavy weight in my chest, my muscles clenched in anticipation of what the day might bring. My heart rate would increase with every word they spoke, every silent treatment they gave me, and every cruel remark they made. I couldn’t escape the feeling that something bad was always just around the corner. This constant activation of the sympathetic nervous system was exhausting.

3. The Suppression of Rest and Digest Functions

One of the most insidious effects of the fight-or-flight response is how it suppresses the body’s ability to rest and digest. In the midst of constant stress, the body struggles to maintain its regular functions, such as digestion and immune response. As the sympathetic nervous system dominates, the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for promoting relaxation and recovery, is suppressed. This imbalance leads to a range of physical symptoms that can worsen over time.

For me, the suppression of rest and digestion was particularly noticeable. I had trouble sleeping at night—my mind would race with thoughts of how to navigate the emotional minefield of my relationship. Even when I did fall asleep, it was restless and interrupted by vivid dreams. My body was simply never allowed to fully relax and recover.

This constant state of alertness also led to digestive problems. I had trouble eating—my stomach would tighten up every time I sat down for a meal. It was as if my body couldn’t make use of the food, no matter how healthy it was. I developed issues with indigestion and heartburn, and I often felt nauseous after eating. I would try to medicate the discomfort with over-the-counter remedies, but nothing worked.

Physically, I was a mess. I felt fatigued all the time, but no matter how much I rested, my body never felt fully at ease. I had headaches that wouldn’t go away and back pain that made it difficult to focus or relax. I even found myself more prone to getting sick, as my immune system weakened due to the constant stress.

4. The Long-Term Effects of Chronic Stress

Chronic activation of the fight-or-flight response can have lasting effects on the body. Over time, the adrenal glands, which are responsible for releasing stress hormones like cortisol, can become fatigued. This leads to a condition known as adrenal fatigue. Symptoms of adrenal fatigue include fatigue, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and a general sense of being "worn out." I experienced all of these symptoms during my time in the toxic relationship.

My ability to concentrate and think clearly suffered. I felt mentally exhausted, as though my brain was constantly running on empty. Even the simplest tasks became overwhelming. I was emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and mentally numb.

It wasn’t until I started to seek help—through therapy, self-care practices, and talking to others who had gone through similar experiences—that I began to heal. But even then, the healing process was slow. It took time for my body and mind to recover from the trauma.

5. Learning to Heal: Finding Balance and Rest

In the midst of my struggle, I realized that healing wouldn’t come quickly. The body needs time to recover from prolonged stress. I began incorporating mindfulness into my daily routine. I took up yoga and deep breathing exercises to help release the built-up tension in my body. Slowly, I began to see progress. The fight-or-flight response wasn’t as dominant anymore, and I could finally start to feel my body relaxing.

But I also learned that I needed to give myself permission to rest. I had spent so long trying to push through the stress, trying to fix everything, that I never allowed myself to take a break. I learned that it’s okay to slow down, to say no, and to take the time to nurture myself physically and emotionally.

Conclusion

The fight-or-flight response is an evolutionary survival mechanism that is essential for immediate danger. But when activated too often due to chronic stress, such as in the case of narcissistic abuse, it becomes a damaging force. The body, stuck in a state of hyper-alertness, begins to show signs of physical and mental exhaustion. Over time, this constant stress response can cause a range of health issues that only intensify if not addressed.

If you’re struggling with the effects of narcissistic abuse, know that you’re not alone. The physical toll of the fight-or-flight response can be overwhelming, but healing is possible. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion. You deserve to be free from the constant stress and to find peace within yourself once again.