The Struggle of Having Your Feelings Dismissed: A Personal Story

The Struggle of Having Your Feelings Dismissed: A Personal Story

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world: you’re hurt, you’re upset, and you finally muster up the courage to open up to someone about it, only to hear them say, “You’re too sensitive.” The words sting. They don’t just hurt—they cut deep.

I’ve been there, and I’m sure many of you have, too. You’ve felt the weight of your emotions, and instead of being met with understanding, you were told that your feelings didn’t matter, that you were just being overly emotional. It leaves you wondering if your emotions are even valid. If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re not alone.

In this post, I want to share a story about what it feels like to have your emotions dismissed and how it can affect your mental and emotional well-being. If you’ve ever been told, “You’re too sensitive,” this is for you.

The First Time It Happened to Me: Feeling Small and Misunderstood

I remember the first time I heard those words. I had just shared something personal with a friend—something that had been weighing on my mind for days. It was a big deal to me, and I expected empathy, or at least a little understanding. Instead, I was met with a cold, dismissive response: “You’re being too sensitive.”

I don’t know why, but something about those words felt like a slap in the face. I felt invisible, as if my emotions didn’t matter. In that moment, I started to doubt myself. “Maybe I am overreacting,” I thought. “Maybe I’m being too dramatic.”

It didn’t make sense. How could sharing my feelings make me the one who was wrong? But at the time, I didn’t know how to stand up for myself, so I just swallowed my hurt and tried to move on. But I couldn’t. That feeling of being dismissed stuck with me, and it stayed with me for longer than I’d like to admit.

Why Is Being Told "You’re Too Sensitive" So Painful?

Looking back, I realized why those words hurt so much. It’s not just about the words themselves—it’s about what they represent. When someone tells you that you're "too sensitive," they're not just dismissing your feelings; they're telling you that you don’t have the right to feel the way you do. And that, my friends, is painful.

I think about it often. Why is it that when someone opens up about their emotions, they're often met with criticism or even ridicule? Shouldn’t we be encouraging each other to feel, to express, to be vulnerable? Instead, we sometimes get the opposite. Instead of a safe space, we’re told that our feelings are too much.

I can tell you from personal experience that hearing "You're too sensitive" doesn’t just sting in the moment—it lingers. It makes you question yourself. It chips away at your confidence and makes you start doubting your emotions. And that’s a dangerous place to be. It’s a slippery slope where you start thinking, “Maybe I’m just imagining things. Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong.”

The Cycle of Second-Guessing: Doubting Yourself

After hearing that phrase a few more times, I started to second-guess everything I felt. Was I really overreacting? Were my emotions too intense for anyone to understand? The more I heard it, the more I began to question myself. It felt like I couldn’t trust my own reactions anymore. And that’s an awful feeling.

I began to wonder if I was just being “too much,” as if my feelings were a burden. The more I tried to share them, the more I felt like I was just adding to the problem. And so, I started to keep things inside. I stopped opening up, because the risk of hearing those words again felt like too much.

It’s not easy to admit, but I started to feel like my emotions didn’t matter. They weren’t important enough to be taken seriously, and that thought slowly gnawed away at me. It made me retreat inwardly, away from people who might dismiss me again.

Feeling Invisible: The Emotional Toll of Dismissal

One of the worst parts of being told "You're too sensitive" is that it can make you feel invisible. I can remember times when I needed someone to listen, when I needed to feel understood. But instead of getting support, I was met with blank stares or even eye-rolls.

At first, I felt confused. Didn’t they see that I was struggling? Didn’t they realize how much this meant to me? But after a while, it stopped surprising me. I started to feel like I was just an inconvenience—a problem to be solved or ignored. It’s one of the most isolating feelings, and it’s not something anyone should have to experience.

Being told you’re "too sensitive" doesn’t just invalidate your emotions—it makes you feel like your emotions don’t matter. They’re too big, too messy, or too much for other people to handle. And when that happens repeatedly, it starts to wear you down.

Why Do People Say “You’re Too Sensitive”?

It wasn’t until later that I began to understand why people use the phrase “You’re too sensitive.” Often, it’s a defense mechanism. When someone hurts you, instead of owning up to their actions, they shift the blame onto you. They make it seem like your emotional reaction is the problem, not their behavior.

It’s much easier for someone to say, “You’re too sensitive” than to admit they’ve hurt you. That way, they don’t have to confront their own actions or apologize. It’s an easy way out. And while it might make them feel better, it leaves you feeling misunderstood and small.

Sometimes, people use the phrase because they don’t understand how their actions affect others. They don’t see the depth of the hurt, and they might think you’re overreacting. For them, your feelings are just an inconvenience—something they don’t want to deal with.

And other times, people simply don’t have the emotional maturity to respond with empathy. They’ve never been taught how to handle someone else’s vulnerability, so they retreat into their own discomfort, leaving you to feel alone.

How I Learned to Protect Myself: Setting Boundaries

It wasn’t until I learned to stand up for myself that things started to change. If someone tells you that you’re too sensitive, it’s okay to call them out. Let them know that you deserve to have your feelings respected. You don’t need to apologize for feeling what you feel.

Setting boundaries isn’t easy, especially if you’re someone who’s used to brushing things off. But trust me, it’s important. You don’t deserve to have your emotions invalidated. You deserve to be heard, respected, and understood.

Whenever someone dismisses my feelings, I remind myself that my emotions are real, and I have every right to feel them. I also remind myself that I don’t need validation from others to know that what I’m feeling is valid.

Finding Support: Surrounding Yourself with Empathetic People

Over time, I learned the importance of surrounding myself with people who understand me. Not everyone will validate your feelings, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong or that you should change. Find people who listen, who offer empathy, and who respect your emotions. These people will remind you that your feelings are not only valid but also important.

It’s not easy, but having a support system—whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist—makes a world of difference. You don’t have to go through this alone. If you ever feel invalidated, reach out to someone who will hear you and remind you that your emotions are real.

Practicing Self-Care: Healing From Emotional Neglect

Dealing with emotional invalidation is exhausting, and sometimes it can leave you feeling drained. That’s why it’s so important to take care of yourself. Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or just taking some time to breathe, make sure you’re prioritizing your mental health.

Self-care is about honoring your feelings and taking the time to heal. If someone else refuses to respect your emotions, the least you can do is show that respect to yourself.

Conclusion: Your Feelings Matter

I’ve learned that no one has the right to tell you that you’re “too sensitive.” Your emotions are a part of who you are, and they deserve to be recognized and respected. If someone dismisses you, it’s a reflection of them, not of you.

So, next time someone tries to invalidate your feelings, stand strong. Trust your emotions. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re “too sensitive.” You are allowed to feel, and you deserve to be heard.