Life has a way of changing us, often in ways we don’t realize at first. It can start with small comments, offhand remarks, or well-intentioned “advice” that, over time, chip away at our confidence. I used to be a confident person—someone who trusted herself and embraced her voice. But after years of subtle belittling, I became someone I didn’t recognize. This is my story of how constant belittling affected my self-trust and self-love, and how I’m working to rediscover who I truly am.
How It All Started
I used to be full of ideas, dreams, and opinions, but at some point, I began to second-guess myself. It wasn’t a sudden change, but a gradual shift. At first, it was small things—a joke about how I always forget things or a remark about how I wasn’t as good as someone else. These were just words, right? Little comments that didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. But over time, those little words started to add up, until one day, I didn’t feel like myself anymore.
I kept telling myself it was just a phase. A rough patch. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t just about being tired or stressed. It was something deeper, something that was slowly eating away at my confidence.
The Power of Words
I used to believe that words only held power if I let them. But I’ve learned that words can shape your reality in ways you may not even notice. Even if you know, deep down, that what others say isn’t true, repeated negative comments can slowly erode your self-belief.
I remember the first time I really felt it—the moment when someone I trusted said something that made me feel small. I can’t even remember the exact words, but I’ll never forget how they made me feel: unworthy. As if I was a problem that needed fixing. Once that seed was planted, it started to grow.
Losing My Voice
As the negative words continued to accumulate, I started to doubt myself in ways I never had before. I hesitated to speak, afraid of saying the wrong thing. I started questioning my decisions, my abilities, and my worth. It wasn’t just the big decisions—it was everything, from choosing what to wear to what music to listen to.
I had become so used to waiting for someone else’s approval that I began to lose touch with my own desires. I wanted to be liked, accepted, and approved of. But in the process, I lost my voice. And the scariest part? I got used to it.
When You Stop Recognizing Yourself
There came a point when I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. This wasn’t the person I used to be—the confident, outspoken one. Instead, I had become someone who second-guessed every decision, someone who sought external validation for everything I did.
I started asking myself, When did I stop trusting myself? When did I start believing I wasn’t good enough? When did I decide my thoughts and feelings didn’t matter? It wasn’t a sudden shift, but a gradual change that was almost imperceptible until it had fully taken root.
Finding My Way Back
Realizing that I had lost myself was difficult. But finding my way back seemed even harder. How do you rebuild your self-worth when it feels like it’s been shattered? I didn’t know where to start, but I knew I had to begin somewhere.
I began by making small choices for myself. What did I want to wear today? What did I feel like eating? What music made me happy? These small decisions, simple as they seemed, felt like reclaiming a part of me that had been lost.
And then, I started challenging my negative thoughts. Every time I caught myself thinking I’m not good enough, I replaced it with something more positive, something empowering. I am trying my best. I am learning. I am growing. At first, it felt like lying to myself, but the more I did it, the more I began to believe it.
Learning to Trust Myself Again
Trusting myself again was a monumental challenge. After years of being told that my feelings didn’t matter, I had to re-learn how to listen to my gut, how to make decisions based on what felt right for me, not what others expected.
I reminded myself that it was okay to make mistakes. That failing didn’t make me a failure. That growth was part of the process. It wasn’t easy, and some days were harder than others. But each time I made a decision for myself, no matter how small, I felt a little bit stronger.
Setting Boundaries
One of the most empowering lessons I’ve learned is the importance of setting boundaries. It’s not easy, especially when you’ve spent so much of your life trying to make others comfortable. But I realized that protecting my energy, my happiness, and my sense of self was far more important than keeping the peace.
At first, setting boundaries felt uncomfortable, like I was being rude or selfish. But I soon realized that boundaries weren’t about pushing people away—they were about protecting the person I was trying to become. And the more I practiced setting boundaries, the more I found my strength.
Embracing Who I Am
The journey back to myself hasn’t been a smooth ride. There have been setbacks. Days when I’ve fallen back into old habits. But now, when I slip up, I recognize it, and I keep moving forward. I’m learning to embrace who I am—the messy, imperfect, beautifully authentic version of myself.
My worth is no longer tied to the opinions of others. I’m learning that it’s okay to be imperfect, that I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am. The journey is ongoing, but with each step, I’m reclaiming myself.
A Message to Anyone Who Feels Lost
If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself, know that you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel like you don’t recognize the person in the mirror, but I promise you—rediscovery is possible. It’s okay to take it slow. Every small step you take matters. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough. You are enough. You are worthy of love, respect, and happiness.
So, take that first step. Even if it’s small, it’s a step toward reclaiming who you are. And remember, you are not the negative words you’ve heard. You are not the doubts that plague your mind. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are enough.
Conclusion: The Journey to Self-Empowerment
The road to rebuilding self-trust and self-love is not an easy one, but it’s worth every step. It starts with small decisions, self-compassion, and the courage to set boundaries and trust yourself again. It’s a journey that takes time, but one that ultimately leads to the most empowering place of all: being at peace with who you truly are.
Call to Action:
If you’re on a similar journey, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. How have you been able to reclaim your sense of self? Share your story in the comments below or reach out on social media. You are not alone, and together, we can continue to empower each other.
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