Not a Victim, a Voyager: Why I’m Changing the Labels I Give Myself

 Not a Victim, a Voyager


"I’m changing the labels I give myself. I wasn't just a victim of a situation; I am a voyager through a transformation. I didn't just 'make it out.' I’m making it work. I am the architect of what comes next."

 

Words have immense power. But the most powerful words in the world aren't the ones spoken to us; they are the ones we use to describe ourselves when no one else is listening.

When you go through a deeply painful experience—whether it is trauma, addiction, the end of a toxic relationship, or a profound loss—you inevitably pick up labels along the way. Some are handed to you by other people. Some are handed to you by circumstance. And some you give to yourself just to make sense of the wreckage.

For a long time, the word victim was a label I wore. But recently, I realized that while that label validated my past, it was suffocating my future. Here is why I am officially changing the labels I give myself.

This isn't just a recovery; it's a voyage. With the right tools and mindset, you are the navigator charting your course.

A vintage brass compass rests on an open journal with the word "VOYAGER" handwritten on the page. In the background, there's a window with warm sunlight and a steaming mug, suggesting a reflective, hopeful new beginning.
This isn't just a recovery; it's a voyage. With the right tools and mindset, you are the navigator charting your course.


Recovering Me: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
https://recoveringmeproject.blogspot.com/

Not Just Me : Finding Myself Beyond Anxiety and Depression
https://notjustmeproject.blogspot.com/

Heal

https://heal.soojz.com



🛑 The Weight of the Word "Victim"

Let me be clear: acknowledging that you were a victim of an unfair, painful, or abusive situation is a vital first step in recovery. It is how you validate your pain. It is how you look in the mirror and say, "What happened to me was real, it was wrong, and it hurt."

But there is a danger in letting that label become your permanent identity.

The word "victim" implies passivity. It tells a story where you are simply a casualty of the things that happen to you. When we stay in the victim mindset for too long, we unknowingly surrender our power to our past. We begin to believe that because we were broken by a situation, we must remain broken in it.

I decided I no longer wanted to be the casualty of my own story.


At Recovering Me, we honor the slow, layered process of healing. Emotional complexity is not chaos—it’s information. And when we stop fighting our inner world, we finally begin to trust ourselves again. 





🌊 Shifting to the "Voyager" Mindset

I am not a victim of a situation; I am a voyager through a transformation.

Think about what a voyager is. A voyager doesn't sit still and let the waves crash over them. A voyager is an active navigator. They face terrifying depths, sudden storms, and unknown waters—but their hands are always firmly on the wheel.

When you reframe your healing journey as a voyage, everything changes:

  • The journey becomes active: You are no longer waiting to be rescued. You are charting the course.

  • The storms are normalized: Bad days, triggers, and setbacks aren't failures. They are just rough weather on the route.

  • The destination is yours: You get to decide where this ship is going next.

You were the vessel that carried yourself through the fire. You are still moving forward.




🛠️ From "Making It Out" to "Making It Work"

There is a massive difference between surviving and building.

When you first escape a dark season, the only goal is to "make it out." Survival mode kicks in. You are just holding your breath, kicking your legs, and trying to reach the shore.

But once you finally collapse onto the sand, survival mode is no longer enough. You have to learn how to breathe again. You have to learn how to live.

Saying "I’m making it work" means committing to the quiet, daily, unglamorous work of recovery. It means:

  • Going to therapy when you'd rather sleep.

  • Setting boundaries that make you feel temporarily guilty but permanently safe.

  • Feeling uncomfortable emotions without trying to numb them.

  • Choosing your peace, even on the days it feels exhausting.




🏛️ Becoming the Architect of What Comes Next

If you are a voyager, you need a map. And if you are going to build a new life, you need to be the architect. How do you start designing your next chapter?

Here are the three blueprints I am using:

  1. Auditing My Self-Talk: I am actively catching myself when I use passive, defeatist language. I am changing "This always happens to me" to "I am currently navigating a difficult challenge."

  2. Defining My Foundation: An architect doesn't build on a swamp. In recovery, your foundation is your core values. I am getting crystal clear on what matters to me now: Peace. Honesty. Freedom. Every decision I make must rest on these pillars.

  3. Laying One Brick at a Time: Transformation doesn't happen overnight. It is the result of micro-choices. Choosing to drink a glass of water instead of spiraling. Choosing to forgive myself for yesterday's mistakes. Brick by quiet brick, the new me is taking shape.




⚓ Drop the Labels That Don't Serve You

If you are reading this and feeling weighed down by the labels of your past, I invite you to drop them. You survived the darkness, but you do not have to be defined by it.

You are a voyager. The waters ahead might be uncharted, but for the first time in your life, you are the one holding the compass. You are the architect.

Now, let's get to work on building what comes next.

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